with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
