God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
