My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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