So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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