I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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