Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He? As in you personified your dick?
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