Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
