someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
