Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
