he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
