I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
