It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
