So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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