Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
