Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
