Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Is Oprah even human
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
