dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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