He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
