I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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