we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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