I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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