you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
