I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
