I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
