did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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