I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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