Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
