you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
