Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
