He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
