my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
