Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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