If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
