He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
you had me at cake vodka
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
