shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Still dying that you shit outside
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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