I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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