and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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