I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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