please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is it because I queefed?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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