Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
