Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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