Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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