My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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