You're so nebulous sometimes
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
