The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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