brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
