it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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