When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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