the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
