Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
