I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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